The other day I saw man peeing on the sidewalk. Facing traffic. That's bold. A lot of guys can brag about peeing on a police car. But what about one that’s still moving?
It got me thinking about a few other encounters I have had with homeless people.
When I was 19, I went to Montreal with a few close friends. The whole weekend revolved around drinking and passing out. As we walked down St. Catherine's street we came across a homeless man drinking a 40oz on the stoop of a church. My buddy Steve was so drunk that he didn't realize the poor guy was homeless. He just thought he was a guy bringing the party outdoors, and at the time, he thought that that was bad-ass. He got in the guy's face and said, "Yeah man! You're livin' the fuckin' DREEEAM!!!"
Awful.
Another time, I was walking through an intersection in Boston, and I saw a non-homeless (homeful?) man with a foot-long beard. That says a lot about someone. It's a lot of time devoted (or neglected) to looking so crazy. This man was dancing in the middle of Mass Ave and Boylston. He was holding a crucifix in each hand. As he danced he shook the crucifixes merrily at the cars passing by. He was wearing a clean, matching, all black outfit. He was making a big scene. Next to me was a homeless man with a shopping cart. He turned to me and said, "Shiiiit! And they call the homeless people crazy!" You said it man.
Once, after I gave a man a quarter, and he asked me if I wanted to join his 'Runaways' cover band. Cha-cha-cha-cha Cherry bomb!
"Walk for Cancer" Guy: This is a guy who hangs out on Newbury Street and says, "Hey man, walk for cancer, walk for cancer, walk for cancer. Hey man, shake my hand. Aw you must be one of the good white people. You don't hate black people, do you? Let me just get your credit card information? No? What? You hate black people!? This motherfucker right here hates black people!"
It got me thinking about a few other encounters I have had with homeless people.
When I was 19, I went to Montreal with a few close friends. The whole weekend revolved around drinking and passing out. As we walked down St. Catherine's street we came across a homeless man drinking a 40oz on the stoop of a church. My buddy Steve was so drunk that he didn't realize the poor guy was homeless. He just thought he was a guy bringing the party outdoors, and at the time, he thought that that was bad-ass. He got in the guy's face and said, "Yeah man! You're livin' the fuckin' DREEEAM!!!"
Awful.
Another time, I was walking through an intersection in Boston, and I saw a non-homeless (homeful?) man with a foot-long beard. That says a lot about someone. It's a lot of time devoted (or neglected) to looking so crazy. This man was dancing in the middle of Mass Ave and Boylston. He was holding a crucifix in each hand. As he danced he shook the crucifixes merrily at the cars passing by. He was wearing a clean, matching, all black outfit. He was making a big scene. Next to me was a homeless man with a shopping cart. He turned to me and said, "Shiiiit! And they call the homeless people crazy!" You said it man.
Once, after I gave a man a quarter, and he asked me if I wanted to join his 'Runaways' cover band. Cha-cha-cha-cha Cherry bomb!
"Walk for Cancer" Guy: This is a guy who hangs out on Newbury Street and says, "Hey man, walk for cancer, walk for cancer, walk for cancer. Hey man, shake my hand. Aw you must be one of the good white people. You don't hate black people, do you? Let me just get your credit card information? No? What? You hate black people!? This motherfucker right here hates black people!"
Don't forget one-armed push up man.
ReplyDelete