Okay, when we left off, I was getting sexually harassed by an 11 year old. The next part is harder to tell because I have to protect this little girl's anonymity. She told me her name. Trust me when I say that this little girl, who asked to sit on my lap, had the most absurd name for a girl you have ever heard in your life. We'll call her "Fluffy". Her real name is slightly better/weirder than that. Just as Fluffy tried to feel up my bicep, recess ended. I was like thank god. And I will avoid the shit out that kid in the future.
After recess, I was handed a new classroom schedule. I was supposed to tutor students in math right after recess. And Fluffy was in the class. She gave me a mischievous half-wave when I walked into the room. We had plenty of adventures. One time I told her I wanted to be a psychologist. She said, "Ohhh, you want to talk to crazy people for the rest of your life?"
I was like, "Yeah, call me in a few years." Oops.
Over the next few months I learned the job well. I was a natural. Sure kids test your patirents, but there is also something about a school environment that is so positive to be in. Also, the teachers were cool/crazy. It took me a while to get comfortable, but I got to smoke pot with some of them. In addition, I heard some crazy stories. I learned about how Fluffy's dad was world famous and her mom was a secret lesbian who had an affair with a teacher who no longer worked there. One teacher used to deal coke. One almost got arrested for having sex in public while on vacation. All this stuff goes on, and every morning no matter how hung over or aburd they acted the night before, they still walk into the classroom and say, "1-2-3. Eyes on me!" and "Hey guys, you get what you get, and you dont get upset!"
I liked the job so much that did my second co-op there. That was when the most rediculous situation of all occured.
I was pulled out of the two classrooms that I had been working in to be a one-on-one aide for a child in a kindergarten class. I was told that this one particular boy had been exhibiting some "oddly sexual behavior". I was told to stop him from whispering words like "penis" and "butt" into other kid's ears. Also to stop him from pulling up his shorts and rubbing his butt up against furniture. You know, normal stuff...
On my second day in the kindergarten class, one little boy said something fucking hilarious. I was sitting on one of those kindergarten chairs with my knees scrunched up by my shoulders, and I fell right out of the chair.
The teacher wrote a big block letter "W" on the blackboard. Kids were supposed to raise their hands and say words that begin with "w". Then the words would be written inside the block letter "W". Kids started off with, witch, wall, will, wood, etc. Then this wise ass Russian kid who moved to Boston 5 months ago raised his hand. He giggled and said "Wagina!" He mixed up his v's and w's! Adorable.
But that kid wasn't the kid I was supposed to be watching. The kid I was watching; lets call him "Rodney". One time at recess, I saw him try to rally his friends to play what he called "weird wrestling" under the jungle gym. Another time, I saw him hold his Johnson quite tightly. a routine set in where I was preventing stuff on the reg. One teacher would see me in the hall and be like, "Hey man. How's pee-pee patrol going?"
I'd be like "Oh you know...same old shit."
Then one time I was escorting the kindergarten class from music, and the music teacher, stopped me to be like, "Hey, Alex. What did he do exactly?"
I was like "I dont know. He rubs his butt up against furniture and stuff. He wants play weird wrestling or some shit."
She was like, "...Oh. thats not what I heard."
"Why? What did you hear?"
Then she explained to me that Rodney had been taking other boys into the bathroom with him, pulling down eachother's pants, and KISSSING EACHOTHER'S DICKS! No one wanted to be the one to tell me. The principal was like the teacher will explain it all to you. The teacher thought the principal explained that part to me. No one wanted be like, "Basically what we're dealing with here is a dick-kisser. He kisses dicks. He gets boys to kiss his dick. Dick-kisser."
So I made sure that didn't happen anymore and thats what I did for co-op.
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